Godh-tikka ceremony was over. The W-day was still 2weeks later but the most challenging task has to be completed during this time i.e. the card distribution.
Thanks to my exams, (yes, even exams do have some benefits) I was spared from the work of preparing list of names and addresses of the invitees. But I could not have escaped from my duty of card distribution.
Card distribution is way too complex than it appears especially if it has to be done in a city like Delhi and that too in 45+ heat. Everyday I was assigned an area and a bundle of card was given with names and addresses of my various family members. Here is what it takes to invite one person:
Step 1: Finding the address
We Indians invited the number system but why don’t we follow it in numbering house addresses. You have house numbers going like 10, 9, 8, 23, 57, 58, 59, 2, 3, 7. Even the likes of Aryabhatta would have failed to find logic in such numbering! After inquiring from tens of people, one reaches the correct destination.
Step 2: Khulja sim-sim
(I wish I could have the doors opened like Ali baba by simply uttering this phrase.)
You reach the main gate and finds three door bells but without any labeling. Using the Random Theory, you press a bell. After waiting for around 5minutes in the chilly-hot sun, a person arrives only to tell that you have ranged the wrong bell. Then you press the right bell, wait for another 5minutes, the servants arrives. You tell him about your purpose of visit and without opening the door goes back inside. Then after waiting again for 5minutes, some other person arrives and after making sure that you are not a terrorist, the door is opened for you.
Step 3 : Hum aapke hai Kaun
The next step is to explain the person who you are.
“(With a big smile on your face) Ji main aapke mama ke chacha ke bete ke bhai ke naate ki bhua ka ladka. Pehchana mujhe?”
“Oh so its you!! You have grown so tall! WHY ARE YOU STANDING OUTSIDE? Come inside!”
Yes finally I am inside the house!
Step 4 : no, no, no, no, YES
Now when I have already disturbed them during their afternoon sleep, they have no choice but to entertain me.
“So what will you have? Juice or cold drink?”
“Oh no, no auntie. I will take nothing. The cold drink will do”
Now is the time to regain the energy lost is above 3 steps!
Step 5: Tape recorder
Depending upon the time I want to spend there, I finish my cold-drink at such speed. And then with a smile wider than that of joker in batman, I play the tape-recorder, ” Ji didi ki shaadi hai 28th may ko at such such place. Aap sab ko aana hai. Uncle, auntie aapko bhi. (handing over the card.) Ab main chalta hun, aage aur bhi cards dene hai na. Theek hai ji. Zaroooorrrr… zarooorrrr aana hai.”
And then I move out, back to the car to repeat these steps again! And I must have repeated them at least around 60-70 times!!
If these steps were not enough, you have wrong addresses printed on the card. You have people still not recognizing you even after giving such a long explanation. You have people giving you wrong directions. You have traffic jams. And the most irritating one, you have people asking “oh to aapki shaadi hai!” :| (cmon, I am only 18, not even legal to marry!).
By 25th, with my skin color going two shades darker in the sun and the tummy growing 2more inches with all these cold drinks and snacks, the distribution of card was over!
Part 3 of the wedding series very soon!