My readers were complaining that they have become bored of attempting my previously suggested methods of suicide. So on special demand, here I present you the second edition of my much acclaimed book:- Sarthak’s Guide to Suicide: Season 2
And like the last time, here is glimpse of the Top 10 methods of suicides suggested in the book:
1. The Sauce Effect: Put some tomato sauce on the mirror and stand in front of it. Your eyes would imagine that you are bleeding and as a result you will get a heart attack. Game over!
2. Die as a martyr: Stand in front of Raj Thakrey’s house and shout “UP zindabad! Bihar zindabad!”. Not only will you get rid of your life, but will be become a martyr in whole of North India.
3. Beaten to death: Abuse Sachin. 100crores people will kill you
4. Death @ 300kmph: Act as a streaker in a Formula1 race
5. The abusive death: Post “inappropriate” content on your Facebook profile and ask your friends to report it as abusive. As a result Facebook will delete your account and without Facebook, half of your life is already over. And the rest half would be over when your cousin reports that content to you father!
6. Global Warming: Have Katrina Kaif and Angelina Jolie on your left and right. In split seconds you would turn into ashes. Afterall, they are so HOT!!
7. News that kills: Watch IndiaTV for one full day. You will die of constipation. Afterall who can digest so much of nuisance?!!
8.The jumping death: Switch on the fan in your room and start jumping high over your bed. (Not applicable for people with short height.)
9. Let the music play: Plug in your headphones into your ears and instead of mobile, connect it to the electric socket and switch in on.
10. The Facebook death: (Simplest method!) Put your FB status, “I am dead!”
Statutory Warning: Please ignore if you are a CA student, because anyways you don’t have a life.
P.S.: All the methods and practices described here have not even been performed by expert suiciders. So dont try to attempt or duplicate them in any form.