Tell Me One Good Reason To Celebrate the Birth of a Daughter!

Please don’t go into ethics and morals!! These things are good only for books and lectures. In actuality they are very subjective and people mould them as per their needs. I  want a practical reason of why should I celebrate if I get a daughter and not a son. Why I should not kill my daughter in the womb itself? What’s wrong in craving for a XY chromosome over XX?

The first and foremost argument I hear regarding this are the names like Sania Mirza, Indira Nooyi and Kalpana Chawla. But for every Sania, there are Dhonis and Virats who have got fame and money several folds higher than her. For one Indira Nooyi, we have, don’t know, how many male business tycoons and top managers. And talking about Kalpana Chawla, Rakesh Sharma had achieved the same fleet 15 years earlier than her! Not just India, this thing holds true worldwide. Take for example, out of Fortune 1000 companies, only 5.4% have women as CEOs.  So, when it comes to success or achieving something big, women are far behind men, in ALL the fields! (Cooking? Its Sanjeev Kapoor!).

So if you want me not to kill my daughter, first provide a level playing field for men and women, and show me results that women are as capable as men.

Even if she is successful, we all know that after marriage, the girl will spend rest of her life somewhere else. I will bring her up, will spend money on her education, will teach her, will take care of all her needs, will protect her,and then, she will be taken away by someone else! But, in case of boys, whether they take care of me or not, but at least they will give me food and place to live.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, then first change this system of marriage where the girl has to leave her parents and not the guy!

Forget about success and marriage, the mere thought of raising a girl child terrifies me. How will I protect her? She will be eve-teased, guys will stare her, touch her inappropriately. She might be raped or attacked by acid. And then I will be blamed to have failed to teach my daughter Indian culture and way of dressing. She will be termed slut or prostitute for inviting rape. If I have a son, I can teach him how to respect women; but if I have a daughter, I can’t teach the whole society to respect her.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, then first teach the society on how to behave with women!

Not just the rape, but I will have to worry about her friend circle because no one is going to accept her if she loses her virginity. I will have to stalk her facebook profile and mobile phone. I will have make sure what kind of clothes is she wearing, where she is going. I may have to stop her from pursuing her dreams- a post graduation course or a job or marrying the guy of her choice. Its not that I won’t want my daughter to live her life, but I won’t like my daughter to face repercussion for going against the social order. I won’t like if a guy cheats on her or if she’s beaten by moral police in a pub. If I have a guy, I can at least sleep peacefully.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, first make this country worth living for women- not just security, but respect!

I can still hide the fact about her virginity, but there is this more gruesome issue- What if she had a dark complexion? The society is going to ridicule her and nobody is going to marry her. I may have to spend a hefty amount on this disease called dark-skinned. And then there are also chances that she may turn out to be obese. I can’t take such risks by having a girl child.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, first make this society understand that there is more to women than her looks and body!

Even if by any chance, the fair n lovely cream is able to do any kind of miracle, then that is only going to reduce the rate of dowry. I will still have to pay a hefty amount for marriage of my daughter. Even if take a hypothetical situation, where I won’t be asked to pay any dowry, I will still have to bear most of the marriage expenses and whenever there is going to be any festival, I will have to spend money on sending sweets and clothes to my daughter’s house. Why should I be on the giver side and not on receiver side?

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, then first stop this dowry thing- IN ALL FORMS!

See, we all know that gain and risk go hand in hand. Wherever there is return, there will be some kind of risk. So is the case with X and Y chromosome. Where boys are a retirement plan, girls are only a liability! So, you got a boy, its your gain whereas a girl is a risk. And why should not I take steps to reduce my risk? Why shouldn’t I get it checked before and remove the risk? Because, even if I am going to let her live, the society is going to kill her- her dreams, freedom, desires, respect and dignity.

I am not a murderer and neither I am some sort of heartless or anti-social person. Its does not give me any pleasure killing my own daughter. I would love to love my daughter as much as my son. But I will have to be rational. And by any measure of practicality, I bet that you can’t convince me to have a daughter over a son. You change this equation- provide equal opportunity to women, respect them and do away with evils like dowry- and I will change myself. Till that time, I will continue with the murders.

I will not kill my daughter, if the society will let her live!

P.S.: I don’t care about sex ratio because my son in any case is not going to marry his sister!

gender-equality

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Author: sarthakg

A terrible dancer, an abrasive singer and a Chartered Accountant, Sarthak Goyal has been penning his mind through the blog ‘Something. Nothing. Everything’ since 2009. In whatever little time he gets away from sleep, he works for his venture, DTHConnect.com.

9 thoughts on “Tell Me One Good Reason To Celebrate the Birth of a Daughter!”

  1. Okay… but by killing your daughter you are reaffirming the very unequal society that you claim to needs fixing. The only way to change the society is to have (living) women in it.

    1. Hi Elle! Thanks for reading the post. First I would like to clarify that the post was satirical and does not actually reflect my thoughts. But at the same time, it does reflect the thoughts of society.

      We focus on the problem of female foeticide, but fails to look at the cause of the problem. The real cause on the problem, in my opinion, is the inequality existing in the society which makes it a favourable scenario to have a male child. And that’s what I have tried to highlight.

  2. This post shows your sensibility towards the problems faced by us,the women of this society…but what I believe is solution to a problem is not by accepting it and magnifying it so that it doesn’t look like a crime anymore ;by making it so widespread in the society that it looks rational(for ex.: dowry is so rampant in some parts of India that even the girls of that part has accepted it as a ritual and say,”Humare yahan to aise hota hi hai,itne paise to dene hi parte hai”. Had it been my case, I wouldn’t marry a guy who begs)

    Even today our’s is a male dominated society which I believe is an impetus for these types of evils against women,and this can only be eradicated by having more women in our society. The examples you have quoted shows that even a woman can achieve success like that of a man,and it must be acknowledged that the success achieved by the ladies are after facing lot of these social dramas;so just think about the courage and determination of a woman.So why not give them a fair chance,by bringing them to life.

    Moreover, now a days its the girl in many cases where they take care of their parents,whereas the son abandon them;but a girl will never do it. Girls are asset. A girl can take care of both the families.

    And then of course your son would not marry her sister,but then if people start thinking like this,a time may come, there wont be a girl from whom, your son (it can be any male human being) can get the 1st X chromosome…there will be only XY & XY left…and if I let my imagination to explore,their product will be something like X^2Y^2 :p :p (god knows what it will be)

    Lastly,women are the most beautiful creature of God. It may sound literary but true. :)

    P.S.: I know female foeticide is not your ideology. So my words are for those who think like this. Takecare

    1. This was the reply I was waiting for!
      Except that X^2Y^2 part. Where did that come from? :-o I guess he will be called superman :-P

      Talking seriously, I agree with you that today many of the evils have become so widespread that they have become part of our culture and mindset. One of the biggest take away from the protests after the 16th dec incident has been this- it changed people’s attitude, somehow! Incidents of eve teasing still happen, but they are no longer considered ‘normal’ and its no longer a thing to take pride in.

      I am very much hopeful that things are going to be much better for our daughters (whenever that will happen) than it is today!

  3. Lol….’X^2Y^2′ …. I said it on a lighter note….imagination has no end ;)…what we call it is ‘to think out of the box’ :p

    Yeah,even I hope for the same,things to change for better . Takecare :)

  4. yesss…you got me right.. :) :) ….had some of the best days of my life there…i will take time to come out of it…

    1. COE is indeed one such place from where you never want to come back. Its been 1.5 years and I am still struck there. So I can imagine your case, with just 1.5 months have passed.

      If I am not wrong, there total of 78 girls. ‘Correct me if I am wrong’. So many girls, in a professional set-up, far away from their homes, learning the way of life- What a strength of women power! (Especially considering the fact that there were only 30 guys in our batch)

  5. Yeah you are right…78 girls in 2 batches…COE is the best thing to happen in a CA student’s life,i feel so…. I wish I could go back to the time…we all are literally craving for reunion… :D :) :)

    How delightful it would have been,if coe itself keeps on organizing reunions too,at least once or twice a year…. :p

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