9 Things You should Know about Delhi Metro Travelers

Dedicated to those morons who rape this world class system everyday!
 

1. Metro-ites value their time the most– Thats why they can’t wait for others to get down and will break any line, push any one to get inside the metro, instead og wasting theri precious 2 minutes in waiting for the next.

2. Metro-ites know how to save their natural resources- by not taking bath for days to save water and not even using deo’s to protect the ozone layer

3. Metro-ites are most health conscious– As a resul the seat made for 7 people will have 8 or sometimes even 9 people sitting there

4. Metro-ites respect their elders– Thats why they keep their elders standing and bow their heads down as soon as any of them comes near to the place where they are sited.

5. Metro-ites are focused towards their goal– They will push anybody and everybody, no matter if its a woman or an elderly person. They will break all the lines. They won’t mind being pushed and insulted. Their focus will always remain on getting that seat

6.  Metro-ites respect the women the most– Thats why all men will keep gazing at that girl with the most protective eyes, so that no-one can hurt her and also you have so many of them guarding the pathway to the women’s coach.

7. Metro-ites love to be in the queue– That’s why they will make one of their own

8. Metro-ites miss their moms and sisters the most– Hence they will remember them is every alternate dialog they speak.

9. Metro-ites are the most helpful– They will automatically push you inside and outside the metro without you doing anything.


Also Read:
How to get a seat in Delhi Metro
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How to get a seat in the Delhi Metro?

This blog post is applicable only if you satisfy all the following conditions:

1. You are a regular metro commuter.

2. You are a men

3. You are aged between 15-50 (provided you still haven’t got white hairs)

4. You are uneducated or you won’t mind being called educated illiterate.

5. You value a seat in metro more than your self-respect.

If you satisfy all the above conditions then this post is for you- Some very easy to apply tricks of getting a seat in Delhi Metro.

1. The use of Oranges– Watch Comedy Circus and take some tips from Krishna and Sudesh on how to dress up like a woman.

2. Think, thing and think- The more you will think, faster your hairs will turn white. And with white hairs, all you have to do is find a person who still has some etiquette left in him.

3. Be a Gandhian– Carry a stick with you. Even if it doesn’t land you a seat, atleast it will provide support while standing

4. You are the VIP – 10 people are standing in queue on both sides of the door. Come and stand right in front of the door. No need to care about how people will get out from the metro, that’s there headache.

5. Who needs a seat– Why hassle for the seat, when you can always get down on the floors of the train. You can easily lay down there. Of course, you can always have a fight if someone touches his feet to you.

6. Have your own seat– Carry bags with you. Make them stand besides the pole and there you have your own seat.

7. Pay Rs.50 fine– Travelling on top of metro attracts a fine of Rs.50. Of course, you wont mind Rs.50 for an open air comfortable metro ride.

8. Please adjust– When we Indians can have a whole joint family in a Maruti 800, then of course they can adjust  to have 100 people sitting on a seven seater in Delhi Metro.

9. Be a Human Behavioral specialist- Study the behavior of people sitting and predict who will get down on which station. On that basis go and stand in front of him.

10. When nothing works, family helps– I am sure if you give reference to the name of your minister uncle, the driver will give a seat with him in his cabin.

Note: Once you get the seat, put earphones and don’t you dare look up to the auntie whose eyes will make feel so humiliated that you will have no choice but to vacate your hard earned seat.

Follow these tricks, and if nothing works, get yourself a job of metro driver!

 

Jokes apart, Metro is, undoubtedly, the best thing to have ever happened to Delhi. And for this hats off to that one man,  E. Sreedharan. Take a bow