The Wedding continues (3)

Part 1: The Wedding
Part2: The Wedding: Card Distribution

After the card distribution, it was the business end of the marriage!

26th May was the day when we shifted to Narsingh Sevasadam where all pre-marriage functions were supposed to take place and where all guests were to stay for next 3days!

Day 1

On 26th, my parents woke me early (another day’s morning sleep sacrifised!) as we were supposed to reach narsingh sevasedan at around 9AM and that too with full preparation. The preparation includes a long list of items from toothpaste, shampoo, soap for each room set to supply of food grains, fruits, sweets for next 3-4days, from a wiper to a press, from mobile phone chargers to stereo system and from anything to everything! Luckily I only have to pack my own bag and for that too mom was there to help me.

My first task of the day was acting as coolie, loading-unloading all the materials from home to sevadan. While my home is at 3rd floor, our stay for the marriage was on 2nd floor!

We reached there on time and slowly other family member also started to arrive. But on Day 1, there were only close family members. For lunch there was buffet system with “self” service. But unfortunately here self is referred to as “bride’s brother”. Hence my second task was that of waiter and seriously it was the most difficult task. “Chappati lenge?”, “paani, abhi laya!”, ” haan, papad abhi aa rhe hai”, “arre baitho! main laata hun”, “kuch aur lenge?” And then you have to interact with cooks. “bhaiya chapaatiyaan jaldi laao!”, ” 2 plate dena”, “bhaiya glasses kaha hai?”, “bas karo bhaiya, abhi aur nhi chahiye chapati”. In short, you have to take care of both demand and supply!

There was also this babysitting task. But actually it was real fun. Playing with all my bhanjas, bhanjees, bhatijas and bhatijees. But after a while when their demand starts to grow, you have to leave them to the expert ie thier respective moms.

Of course, in all between this you have to continue acting as a peon also-bringing one thing from one place to another, fulfilling everybody’s demand and all such stuffs. Thankfully, I wasn’t assigned the cleaning job.

At around 8PM I discovered the most astonishing thing. For thousands of years scientist were trying to find a formula, but couldn’t. But that thing was achieved in front of my eyes at 8PM. At 8PM, more than 10 women were sitting together QUIETLY! yes you read it right! quietly! And for such an achievement the whole credit goes to…. BALIKA VADHU. (They must get a nobel PEACE prize for this!)

After a 30minutes silence, it was all back to normality. For dinner again I was turned into waiter. And then followed by the dinner there was some random dance program (known as raat-jaagi). This time my job was that of (no, not of a dancer, even sunny deol dances better than me) photographer. But this ‘technology’ again showed why it is the most unreliable thing in this world. I had a battery and also a back up battery for my digicam, but neither worked. I had to content with my not-so-good mobile camera. And then there was this music system which was not properly playing the mp3s and people had to rely mainly on their vocals.

By the end of the day, there was hardly any part of my body which was not paining. My shoulders, my back, my legs, my hands.. they were all having a headache.

Day 2

There is no better place to sleep than at you home, so even the sleep was not that refreshing. Though I still woke up at around 9:30 and got ready till 11 and by that time breakfast was almost done. During lunch there were some waiters to assist me (a big big big sigh of relief!). So from waiter, I was promoted to manager-cum-waiter and I could accompany most of my task just my issuing orders.

The post lunch was a lean period where I could have some rest. But as I mentioned in my earlier post, the world can’t bear the bride’s brother relaxing! This time it was my second sister. She sent me to arrange a cake for my bua whose birthday was incidentally on that day. The best part- as I reached the shop, she called me to not to bring the cake as bua’s daughters most probably would themselves be bringing the cake. Couldn’t you have thought of it earlier??!! So I returned empty handed.

In between all these, the marriage functions were going as schedule and so was my photography job (the digicam was finally working!). In the evening we all celebrated bua’s birthday with fufaji bringing everyone alive with his dance.

At 8PM again there was 30minutes silence. And then my job of manager-cum-waiter. Though the day was relatively peaceful in comparison with day1, but still it was enough to give you pains.

The wedding day

Again I woke up late and thanks to my unpressed jeans, I further got delayed in dressing up. There were some marriage programs in the morning, but after that there was no other work till the marriage in the evening. The day, unexpectedly, went quite peaceful. During the afternoon all I was watching this India-Zimbabwe match which India lost (Had I not been busy in marriage, you could bet there would have surely been a post on it!).

In the evening, we all got ready (there is an interesting story about my wedding dress, but I think its already too long, so lets just skip it!). The 40minutes journey to the wedding ground was also quite remember-able. With my two buas and my elder tiaji, I was squeezed in one corner on the car. I had no option but to listen to talks of my buas and elder taiji in which (with due respect to all my elders) snowfall is considered as the most evilish thing on the earth, chaand-taare is meant to be astronomy and air travel is the bravest thing to achieve in the world.

At around 8PM, I reached the wedding ground. <to be continued>

If you are still interested, The fourth and the final part of The Wedding would be coming soon!

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Wedding: The card distribution

Click here to read Part I of the Wedding Series

Godh-tikka ceremony was over. The W-day was still 2weeks later but the most challenging task has to be completed during this time i.e. the card distribution.

Thanks to my exams, (yes, even exams do have some benefits) I was spared from the work of preparing list of names and addresses of the invitees. But I could not have escaped from my duty of card distribution.

Card distribution is way too complex than it appears especially if it has to be done in a city like Delhi and that too in 45+ heat. Everyday I was assigned an area and a bundle of card was given with names and addresses of my various family members. Here is what it takes to invite one person:

Step 1: Finding the address

We Indians invited the number system but why don’t we follow it in numbering house addresses. You have house numbers going like 10, 9, 8, 23, 57, 58, 59, 2, 3, 7. Even the likes of Aryabhatta would have failed to find logic in such numbering! After inquiring from tens of people, one reaches the correct destination.

Step 2: Khulja sim-sim

(I wish I could have the doors opened like Ali baba by simply uttering this phrase.)

You reach the main gate and finds three door bells but without any labeling. Using the Random Theory, you press a bell. After waiting for around 5minutes in the chilly-hot sun, a person arrives only to tell that you have ranged the wrong bell. Then you press the right bell, wait for another 5minutes, the servants arrives. You tell him about your purpose of visit and without opening the door goes back inside. Then after waiting again for 5minutes, some other person arrives and after making sure that you are not a terrorist, the door is opened for you.

Step 3 : Hum aapke hai Kaun

The next step is to explain the person who you are.

“(With a big smile on your face) Ji main aapke mama ke chacha ke bete ke bhai ke naate ki bhua ka ladka. Pehchana mujhe?”

“Oh so its you!! You have grown so tall! WHY ARE YOU STANDING OUTSIDE? Come inside!”

Yes finally I am inside the house!

Step 4 : no, no, no, no, YES

Now when I have already disturbed them during their afternoon sleep, they have no choice but to entertain me.

“So what will you have? Juice or cold drink?”

“Oh no, no auntie. I will take nothing. The cold drink will do”

Now is the time to regain the energy lost is above 3 steps!

Step 5: Tape recorder

Depending upon the time I want to spend there, I finish my cold-drink at such speed. And then with a smile wider than that of joker in batman, I play the tape-recorder, ” Ji didi ki shaadi hai 28th may ko at such such place. Aap sab ko aana hai. Uncle, auntie aapko bhi. (handing over the card.) Ab main chalta hun, aage aur bhi cards dene hai na. Theek hai ji. Zaroooorrrr… zarooorrrr aana hai.”

And then I move out, back to the car to repeat these steps again! And I must have repeated them at least around 60-70 times!!

If these steps were not enough, you have wrong addresses printed on the card. You have people still not recognizing you even after giving such a long explanation. You have people giving you wrong directions. You have traffic jams. And the most irritating one, you have people asking “oh to aapki shaadi hai!” :|  (cmon, I am only 18, not even legal to marry!).

By 25th, with my skin color going two shades darker in the sun and the tummy growing 2more inches with all these cold drinks and snacks, the distribution of card was over!

Part 3 of the wedding series very soon!

The Wedding

no gals I am still available, it was my sis marriage.

28th May, 2010 was the day decided by the God to grant me full independence. It was the day of my sister’s marriage. But the freedom didn’t come so easy. I was made to work really hard to earn it. Only a brother can understand of all sorts of things that he has to go through in his sister marriage!

In India, marriage ceremony in not a one-day affair, but a complete test match. You have functions like godh, tikka,raatjaagi, sangeet, baan, haldad, varmaala, phere, pagphera and dont know what else. I don’t know the exact purpose of all such functions but they surely allow one to spend time with his/her family. (Note herein family is referred to all the ascendant and descendant of your mother and father and their respective family)

12th May was the day when my exams got over. It was also the day when the shield which was preventing me from all sorts of marriage related work got lifted and I became an open target.

On 15th was the godh-tikka ceremony. Godh-tikka is the ceremony where first all the elder gents gather around the bridegroom and takes him into their custody, followed by all the ladies taking taking bride in custody. After they are let free, everyone exchanges with everyone else  something in a sealed envelope. The most amazing part is everyone denies to accept the envelop as if it contains a bomb, but after being satisfied that it has nothing harmful in it, everyone accept it.

Thankfully this function was from boy’s side. So I had no major work to do. But how can the world tolerate that bride’s brother has no work to do? So the designer made a blunder and stitched the wrong dress for me. It was 13th and the function was on 15th morning. But thankfully he had an exhibition piece which he altered and made it ready. But in all this hush-bush I wasn’t even able to enjoy the exam-ending-outing with my friends.

The function was the usual one with bride’s brother asking everyone if they need anything, have they eaten the snacks, have they taken the lunch.. cmon, they all are grown up, I don’t need to babysit them! And then you have to prove everyone that your back in made up of rubber by bending and touching the feet of every elder. And how can I forget those precisely cloned questions from every second person, “Oh my God! You have grown so tall! (As if I had any other choice). What is your height? (Are you gonna use me as an inch tape?) What do you do? (Oh! I am a murderer.) How were you exams? (No comments, please!)

You see everyone having lunch but being the co-host, you are not allowed to have any. Its only at the end when everyone from the boy’s side have eaten up and waiters are about to throw the remainder in the sewage that you get something to eat. And then after some more back exercise, you say goodbye to boy’s family and take the first breathe of the day.

Click here to read Part 2 of the series Wedding.