Tell Me One Good Reason To Celebrate the Birth of a Daughter!

Please don’t go into ethics and morals!! These things are good only for books and lectures. In actuality they are very subjective and people mould them as per their needs. I  want a practical reason of why should I celebrate if I get a daughter and not a son. Why I should not kill my daughter in the womb itself? What’s wrong in craving for a XY chromosome over XX?

The first and foremost argument I hear regarding this are the names like Sania Mirza, Indira Nooyi and Kalpana Chawla. But for every Sania, there are Dhonis and Virats who have got fame and money several folds higher than her. For one Indira Nooyi, we have, don’t know, how many male business tycoons and top managers. And talking about Kalpana Chawla, Rakesh Sharma had achieved the same fleet 15 years earlier than her! Not just India, this thing holds true worldwide. Take for example, out of Fortune 1000 companies, only 5.4% have women as CEOs.  So, when it comes to success or achieving something big, women are far behind men, in ALL the fields! (Cooking? Its Sanjeev Kapoor!).

So if you want me not to kill my daughter, first provide a level playing field for men and women, and show me results that women are as capable as men.

Even if she is successful, we all know that after marriage, the girl will spend rest of her life somewhere else. I will bring her up, will spend money on her education, will teach her, will take care of all her needs, will protect her,and then, she will be taken away by someone else! But, in case of boys, whether they take care of me or not, but at least they will give me food and place to live.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, then first change this system of marriage where the girl has to leave her parents and not the guy!

Forget about success and marriage, the mere thought of raising a girl child terrifies me. How will I protect her? She will be eve-teased, guys will stare her, touch her inappropriately. She might be raped or attacked by acid. And then I will be blamed to have failed to teach my daughter Indian culture and way of dressing. She will be termed slut or prostitute for inviting rape. If I have a son, I can teach him how to respect women; but if I have a daughter, I can’t teach the whole society to respect her.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, then first teach the society on how to behave with women!

Not just the rape, but I will have to worry about her friend circle because no one is going to accept her if she loses her virginity. I will have to stalk her facebook profile and mobile phone. I will have make sure what kind of clothes is she wearing, where she is going. I may have to stop her from pursuing her dreams- a post graduation course or a job or marrying the guy of her choice. Its not that I won’t want my daughter to live her life, but I won’t like my daughter to face repercussion for going against the social order. I won’t like if a guy cheats on her or if she’s beaten by moral police in a pub. If I have a guy, I can at least sleep peacefully.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, first make this country worth living for women- not just security, but respect!

I can still hide the fact about her virginity, but there is this more gruesome issue- What if she had a dark complexion? The society is going to ridicule her and nobody is going to marry her. I may have to spend a hefty amount on this disease called dark-skinned. And then there are also chances that she may turn out to be obese. I can’t take such risks by having a girl child.

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, first make this society understand that there is more to women than her looks and body!

Even if by any chance, the fair n lovely cream is able to do any kind of miracle, then that is only going to reduce the rate of dowry. I will still have to pay a hefty amount for marriage of my daughter. Even if take a hypothetical situation, where I won’t be asked to pay any dowry, I will still have to bear most of the marriage expenses and whenever there is going to be any festival, I will have to spend money on sending sweets and clothes to my daughter’s house. Why should I be on the giver side and not on receiver side?

So, if you want me not to kill my daughter, then first stop this dowry thing- IN ALL FORMS!

See, we all know that gain and risk go hand in hand. Wherever there is return, there will be some kind of risk. So is the case with X and Y chromosome. Where boys are a retirement plan, girls are only a liability! So, you got a boy, its your gain whereas a girl is a risk. And why should not I take steps to reduce my risk? Why shouldn’t I get it checked before and remove the risk? Because, even if I am going to let her live, the society is going to kill her- her dreams, freedom, desires, respect and dignity.

I am not a murderer and neither I am some sort of heartless or anti-social person. Its does not give me any pleasure killing my own daughter. I would love to love my daughter as much as my son. But I will have to be rational. And by any measure of practicality, I bet that you can’t convince me to have a daughter over a son. You change this equation- provide equal opportunity to women, respect them and do away with evils like dowry- and I will change myself. Till that time, I will continue with the murders.

I will not kill my daughter, if the society will let her live!

P.S.: I don’t care about sex ratio because my son in any case is not going to marry his sister!



Sita can be saved from Ravana, but what about society?

Chitti, the robot, saw a building caught into fire. He climbs the 10th floor where a girl was struct as she was taking bath. Chitti amid all the fire saves the girl and brings her out. What followed next was the reflection of society we live in. Since the girl was taking a bath, she was naked. And by bringing her out as such in public, he stripped off all her izzat (respect). The girl’s mother curse the robot that he should have instead let her daughter die. The media persons kept clicking photos of girl. And the girl was so embarrassed, that she jumps on in front of a vehicle and kills herself!

A country where girls are killed even before birth, a raped girl is forced to commit suicide or killed, it was heartening to see such large numbers praying for the life of that girl and a nation wide mourn of her death. But does that mean that things have now changed or will change any time sooner? The answer is, I DOUBT!

The most worshiped God in Hindu religion killed the rakshash Ravana to take back her wife. But when it came antics of the society, he was forced to give up and had to send her wife into exile.

Cursing government, blaming police or demanding capital punishment are one thing, but more difficult than this is to teach society to respect women!

One incident has put upon the whole system- government, police, judiciary, society-under scanner. With so many things, incidents, so many debates, so many voices-I just hope this movement does not meet the ending like that of Lokpal Movement.

Below I have discussed some points, not the repetition of points we are hearing everywhere, but some other aspects which, I feel, we also need to consider.

  • Even Saudi Arabia has capital punishment!

There were so many facebook posts and posters praising Saudi Arabia for having such strong laws against rape and demanding the same in India. Yes, Saudi Arabia has capital punishment for rape but you really want a Saudi Arabia like law? REALLY?? A women in Saudi Arabia can’t move out without her husband or father! Even the McDonalds of Saudi Arabia have separate entry-exit and sitting place for women! A raped women is also punished in Saudi Arabia if she is found to have done any act which “got her raped“! You REALLY want such laws?

On the contrary, US does not have any capital punishment for rape crimes (Yes, all those facebook posts were baseless, see here) and still their society knows how to treat women.

So if you believe a capital punishment will resolve the issue. I DOUBT. Infact, several lawyers and judges feel that having a capital punishment will make prosecution tougher and  also a fear that rapist will then kill the girl after rape.

Then whats the solution?

Increase the prosecution rate and reduce the prosecution time! When you have prosecution rates as low as 26% and over 1 lakhs of pending cases, no punishment can stop rapes! Fast track courts, better prosecution procedure and a better, well equipped and independent investigation agency is what we need.  Capital punishment or not is a matter of debate, but by making capital punishment as top most demand, we are diverting from the main issue and also making it a lot easier for the government.


  • We Care about India, but what about “Bharat”?

Lakhs of children die in India because of malnutrition  But who cares! I have enough resources to feed myself and my family. Lakhs of Indian women are beaten up, assaulted in their house. But who cares! We are sophisticated ones and nothing like this happens in our family. Rapes are conducted in police stations. But who cares! I don’t live in rural India. Rapes are conducted every half an hour in India. But who cares! Such heinous things happen in villages, slums or with girls low on morality. A rape is conducted with a modern girl, in the capital city of Delhi, in public transport and all of a sudden! Oh God! This thing can also affect me.

And this is not limited to this case. Thousands die in naxal attacks every year, but its an attacks on 5 star hotels like Taj which makes headlines.

The protest has again highlighted the growing divide between (urban)India and (rural)bharat. We are working on making Delhi safe, but can Delhi be safe without providing any safety in Haryana or UP? I DOUBT. There was a Delhi police officer who pointed on this issue. He said that when most of our constables come from the land of khaps where women all so ill-treated, how can we expect them to have a mindset to handle crime against women. Till the time our focus will remain on urban society, we can’t get rid of this rape, or any other issue.

  •  A word for Mrs. Bachchan

Ma’am are you really serious about crime against women? Does that really hurt you?  REALLY?

Mrs. Jaya Bachchan is a MP from Samajwadi Party– the same party whose 3 MLAs (Sribhagwan Sharma, Anoop Sanda and Manoj Kumar Paras) have rape charges against them, the same party who rules UP- the state where rapes are conducted inside the police stations!

Ma’am if you feel so much about women, pls first do something in your own state, in your own party! And yes, I must say, you are a great actor.

  •  Izzat lut gyi“. What?

Sex is still very much a social taboo in India. Virginity is considered equivalent to the respect of a girl (however not in case of a guy!). So when a girl is raped, it is said that “ladki ki izzat lut gyi“(the girl has been ripped off of her respect). But I want to ask, does a person loses any respect if he/she is robbed, beaten or killed? Then how come a rape victim? A rape was an accident that happened with that girl. Why should it affect rest of her life.

The law provides that the identity of a rape victim should not be disclosed. But when I see a rape victim with her face covered or blurred, I found it weird and somehow, pathetic! The existence of such law shows that society still doesn’t accept the rape victim. Agreed, if for privacy reasons she doesn’t want her identity revealed, but if its because of fear of social acceptance- no one will marry her– then we need to correct it. A girl is absolutely normal after rape-she can have sex, she can conceive a child. Then why an apartheid-like treatment to her?

If I go a step ahead and pls don’t take me wrong but rape, as a crime, is somehow an over-rated. Agreed it is a heinous crime, but so is if a guy a murdered or beaten to make him handicapped. Whats serious about rape is the social phenomenon around it, where a large section does not considered it as a crime or where a rape victim has to face so many hardships from society.

Stop sympathizing them. Let rape victim lead a normal life. And you will find venom is lost from the bite.

Edit: On the latest debate on revealing the name of that girl, my personal opinion is yes it should be revealed. Of course, with due permission from family members.

Also Read: Are You a Rapist- Answer these questions to find out?


“Women in India do not need security. They Need Respect.”

(More to follow)

Are you a Rapist?- Find out by answering these simple questions.

If you laughed down your way reading this. Read it again! Its non non-sense. Its what you, me and everyone are. Our whole society is a RAPIST.  Be it their education, their marriage, their clothes, their friends, their activities- all we know is to put restrictions on them as if its all their fault. Women in India are raped everyday, every second, physically as well as mentally- raped of their freedom, choices and right to live.

Women do not need security. They need RESPECT.