11 Mistakes of My Life!

1. Not learning dance– Remember how surviving each day at school was a challenge for Darsheel Safay in TZP? I feel the same on dance floor.

2. Buying a Dell laptop– No! The problem is not with the laptop, but with the fact that I took no advantage of 1 year accidental warranty!

3. That FB DP– Was I out of my mind when I shared that pic on FB! I wish I had the courage to post it here. Looking at it once, you would have understood why it’s included here.

4. Not buying an iphone– Not because I love iphone, but to prepare myself better for Apple vs Android debate and thus, to help android win it.

5. Not arranging photos on my laptop– 44,826 photos. 90 GB data. Tried several times, but could never completed it. Result- Its mess which is tougher to clean than our political system. (Not to forget incomplete backups at dropbox, google+ and CDs)

6. Reading twilight saga– In 3 weeks I was through with 4 books. Watching back to back episodes of Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi would have been a better choice.

7. Learning to drive car– When you have to spend 2.5 hrs of your life daily in pressing and releasing clutch, you will realize why its a mistake.

8. Ignoring that girl– She was such a nerd during school, but look at her now! How did I miss her?! So true, when it comes to stock market and girls, its all about strong fundamentals and right timing.

9. Joining that whatsapp group– Forwarded photos, messages and videos. And then a birthday every alternate day! If that wasn’t enough, you have those blue ticks for groups also

10. Rejecting Bill’s offer to be Microsoft CEO- It wasn’t that bad an offer. I could have considered it. But Nadela is also doing good.

11. Voting for AAP– You call it mistake! Trust me, I will do this mistake time and again.

 

Which sperm is your IPL team? (2012)

Dr. Chaddha, the fertility specialist, is back. After making the life of Vicky Donor, he has been appointed by IPL to analyze the sperms of each team. This is what he has to say about the sperms of each team-

Delhi Daredevils- Dabanng sperm

Llike name, like sperm- fearless i.e. DABANGG. With such a strong batting line up and an inform bowling attack, this team fearlessly sits at the top of the points table. No doubt  the sperm donor for this team is the captain and dabanggest of all, Virendra Sehwag

Royal Challenger Banglore- High flying sperm

No prizes for guessing why this team is never low on spirit. Whether its airline flies or not, but one person is making the bowl fly like anything. Credit to this man-Chris Gayle- whose sperms are taking them higher and higher on the points table.

Rajasthan Royals- The vintage sperm
The team which gives you a glimpse of classic vintage cricket combined with new generation extravaganza. The team has class of dravid and the young blood of Rahane who idolizes the former. Having warne as the original donor, this team now feeds on the sperms of the wall and despite playing so well, is unfortunate to be out of the tournament.

Kolkata Knightriders- The serious sperm
For first three season, the time was on high doze of entertainment sperm of their team owner. But last season, they got blessed with the ‘gambhir ‘(serious) sperm of Gautam Gambhir and the results are for everyone to see. The effect of this serious sperm can be clearly seen in the way you will find SRK watching match hiding all his emotions against the SRK of Season 1 who would be dancing on every single taken.

Pune Warriors India- The supportive sperm

They formed a team, played and justified their name, “Sahara” by supporting other teams in winning.   Wish they gain some comeback sperms from their current and ex-captains and make a bang in the next season.

Mumbai Indians- The powerpuff sperm

With so many powerpuff donors in the likes of Sachin, Malinga and Pollard, this side is by far the most powerful side of the tournament. Despite performing way below their capability, they are a strong contender of making all the way. Just wished they would have got some better captaincy sperms.

Kings XI Punjab- The silent sperm

People of Punjab are probably the loudest in the way they live, but their team bears the sperms of a silent killer. The team does not have any star name in their line up, but quietly they kept on performing and may well qualify for the playoffs.

Deccan Chargers- The buttery sperm

What’s the biggest irony then having the world’s best bowler in your squad and still being labelled as the weakest bowling attack. And the major culprit for the same, are their fielders who are blessed with buttery fingers. No doubt their sperm donor is a worker in Amul factory. The team will surely like to forget this disastrous season and would like to recharge themselves for next year.

Chennai SuperKings- The lost-charisma sperm

The biggest disappointment of this year’s IPL has been the defending champion CSK. Like leader, like team- the team appears to has lost its charisma and were never able to present themselves as a strong defender.  Captain’s sperms have surely lost their count.

With sperm racing entering in its last leg, it would be interesting to see that who makes it to the cup of 27th of May.